Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Nina is naked

Ok, not really.

But take a look anyway:

I left here some number of months because I feared I could not speak the truth about the day to day everything going on in my life without injuring others and bringing Nina (who is, after all, me) into personal relationships with readers - and finding myself by way of such conduct - unable to live up to whatever it was I thought Nina was. I felt unequal to the challenges I saw looming ahead if I continued to write here.

That feeling of inadequacy, more rightly called ineptitude, was easy to spot (and easy to despise) when I held my own blog up against those of people who did not work so desperately hard to maintain anonymity or privacy - in other words, people grown up enough to lay it all out there and say "take it or leave it." I love their blogs and I admire their transparency. In no particular order:

Neil Kramer, famed author and standard bearer for our beloved Citizen of the Month. Neil is,first and foremost, a wonderful writer. To prevent myself from rambling further, let me say that Neilochka is what we who despair of ever finding such call a good man. Go instantly and give Neilochka the worship that is his due.

What can I say of Avitable? I have knitted the gentleman one sock - and declared it not nearly pretty enough for his excellent left (or right) foot. So I still owe Adam a pair of handmade socks. I have committed other crimes against Adam that I will not describe here. What I love most about Avitable (aside from his extremely forgiving nature) is his openness. Those of you familiar with avitable know that what you see if what you get when you read Adam's blog. He writes about any and everything and somehow manages to protect his marriage and his business from the becoming involved in the blog. I resoundingly failed at doing what he seems to do effortlessly.

Everything I just said about Adam, I want to say about Lisa. If you have followed her story, you know she is fighting cancer for the third time, and doing so in a heartbreakingly public way. And yet she, like Adam and like Neil, has managed to share her life with other people while still protecting her privacy and that of her family. Lisa's time left is limited, but she has Karl (also an excellent blogger) updating her blog. Go see these excellent folks and appreciate their greatness.

I thought I would never return here, but I do so now. Naked. (Sort of). Why? Mostly because it is time for me to grow up and take responsibility for what I have to say online. If people get pissed or run screaming away from my internet diary... *yawn. * It can't be nearly as tragic as I previously imagined. In any case, if my cover gets blown or someone figures out where I work or where I live, hell with it. I ain't Princess Diana. It's simply not that important. The blog is mine and I belong to the blog and I'll take whatever consequences arise, whatever they turn out to be.

Summary: I am back. Long time no see. I have missed you. How have you been?



Catherine said...

I'm so happy to see you here! Bravo to you for your renewed foray into online life. :)

You have total control over what of your life you share here, and sharing some does not morally oblige you to share some degree more. It is not a slippery slope. I've felt out my own limits as I've written, stuck by 'em or pushed on 'em here and there, no reason you can't do the same thing. Guilt-free. I know I will always be scrupulously respectful, and I know that is true of the others I seen visit here too. We're people who'll take you on whatever terms you need to be on, so long as you're here at all.

What's most important, the truth about who you are as a person, a writer, a teacher and a friend, permeate your every sentence; that lovely person can talk about anything she likes, from the weather outside to a trip to the Headologist to whatever, and I'll listen and respond. But it's that person, you, that visiting here is about. As long as it's you showing up, I don't care what you're calling yourself or what kinds of things you say or what url you're using or anything else - I'll be here.

Catherine said...

A) 'others I'VE seen visit here...'
B) Sorry I went on so long. Jeez, I can be long winded :P I'll try to keep my comments comment-length, for the most part ;-)

Finn said...

You're back! I've so missed you. You look great naked.

Avitable said...

My foot? That sock was going on my penis.

IS going. Whenever you get around to it. I'm very patient.

I hope you can stay around and post more. I miss your blogging and emailing!

Sizzle said...

It's good to see you.

cylithria said...

In a million ways and on soooooo many days I missed you lady. I just fricken missed you. I'm glad you're back home with us. So glad. *tears*

ingrid said...

Missed you. I'm glad you are back. :)

Mr. Bingley said...

glad you're back.

Rick(y) said...

Missed you :)

Glad to see you existing! In regards to laying it all out there.. you still get to choose a lot of what is on display, even when linking your Facebook or (sigh)Myspace profile to your blog. Yes, I'm in my low to mid twenties. Anyway. They're still stages upon which you decide what will be performed. You won't control everything, but that's assumed.

Also, will spring ever get here? Because god damn it I want to wear some shorts.

utenzi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ByJane said...

welcome back

sybil law said...

Fabulous to have you back, Nina!
And those are some mighty fine breasts, too! :)

Maggie said...

Yay! Missed you! Welcome back, girl.

cajunvegan said...

I have missed you and was thrilled to see a new post in my Google Reader.

Welcome home!

Mrs. Who said...

Happy Dance Time!

Welcome back.

And naked is a great feeling.

Dagny said...

Holy shit balls!!!

I just cruised by, not with much hope, but a little hope you would have resurfaced...

And you have!!!!

Now I have to catch up.

Glad to see you.