Friday, January 15, 2010

Hair place

If you have an iPhone you can post while you are getting your hair done. And if that doesn't convince you to get an iPhone, I am very sorry for you.

Julie tells me I should abandon my flailing redesign efforts, move to wordpress, get my own URL, and rethink the mission statement of the blog. I expect she is correct. After all, it's previous usefulness has exhausted itself. The self destruction is complete. (I am now rebuilding. Watching people rebuild is so boring).

Remember when I said I was going to write a novel? But then never said another word about it?

It turns out that writing a novel is hard, but not in the way I expected it to be. Writing is no problem. All the emotional crap it dredges up is both surprising and, well, weird. Sort if like swimming up hill. Will I post some of it? Meh. Probably.

Have an excellent day. I am headed for the shampoo bowl.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I am an idiot

I was thinking in the shower today. (Naked! Naked!)

I am an idiot. Here's why:

1) I have a hard time drinking water and breathing at the same time. Seriously. I turn blue.

2) I can make out with a guy and like, have his tongue in my mouth, but I'll break up with him if he expects me to eat off the same fork. That is SO gross.

3) I am afraid of the sound of toilets flushing in the dark. But ONLY when it is dark out.

4) I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME I watch the episode of LOST when Charlie dies.

5) I watch LOST.

6) Oh my God.

7) I am totally fine with how fat I have gotten, yet I won't wash my hair more than twice a week because I don't want it to get "damaged". UH... could I be more damaged... like... everywhere else?

8) Speaking of idiotocity, I put SEVEN different things on my face each day to prevent aging. I am going to be FORTY in ten days. Ten days, people. The bell has rung.

9) I am forty and I still have daddy issues.

10) I am forty and I still count fat grams and calories (note how little good it does me).

Anyone else feel stupid today?

(I love you).


Sunday, January 3, 2010

Are we getting anywhere?

Is this any better? I think it looks pretty awful, but I am used to the dark and storminess. Is the red doing anything for anyone?? The white background?

Also: I believe that novels, like all essays, should have thesis statements. My current working thesis:

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

The quotation comes from the apocryphal Gospel of Thomas. If Jesus really said this, and I hope he did say it... uh, Jesus you are absolutely correct. If you don't give what you have, all that havingness will come back and bite you square in the ass. Destruction is certain.

Another note: thinking about writing the book has been fun because WOW have I done great work in the area of being angry and blaming others for everything. Since I take comedy any way I can get it, I have been getting lots and lots of laughs making notes for this book. Let me know if you want special tips in the area of blaming others or feeling viciously and sadistically persecuted. I have special skills in these areas.

I love you just because you are you, but also because you are beautiful, and I can't help myself (and because you show up here and read about my badness).



Saturday, January 2, 2010

Ignore the weirdness

I am trying to re-jigger the template. I haven't decided what should go where yet, but here we are for now. (Maybe a day, tops).