Reader: I am an idiot

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I am an idiot

I was thinking in the shower today. (Naked! Naked!)

I am an idiot. Here's why:

1) I have a hard time drinking water and breathing at the same time. Seriously. I turn blue.

2) I can make out with a guy and like, have his tongue in my mouth, but I'll break up with him if he expects me to eat off the same fork. That is SO gross.

3) I am afraid of the sound of toilets flushing in the dark. But ONLY when it is dark out.

4) I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME I watch the episode of LOST when Charlie dies.

5) I watch LOST.

6) Oh my God.

7) I am totally fine with how fat I have gotten, yet I won't wash my hair more than twice a week because I don't want it to get "damaged". UH... could I be more damaged... like... everywhere else?

8) Speaking of idiotocity, I put SEVEN different things on my face each day to prevent aging. I am going to be FORTY in ten days. Ten days, people. The bell has rung.

9) I am forty and I still have daddy issues.

10) I am forty and I still count fat grams and calories (note how little good it does me).

Anyone else feel stupid today?

(I love you).

Nina

8 comments:

Anonymous said...: I will not concur on it. I assume polite post. Especially the designation attracted me to be familiar with the unscathed story.; January 13, 2010 at 8:42 PM
Kate P said...: We all have our stupid moments. (Last week, my key got stuck in the door of the lock to the library with two dozen high school students breathing down my neck.) Thankfully, they pass. :)

Would you like a hug for numbers 3, 4, 8 & 9?; January 13, 2010 at 10:53 PM
Kate P said...: Stupid again! That should read "my key got stuck in the LOCK of the DOOR." Duh, me.; January 13, 2010 at 10:54 PM
Ryan said...: I jump roped on my cell phone. I'm stupid.

I don't think you're supposed to be able to drink water and breathe at the same time. That would make you a fish.; January 14, 2010 at 2:54 PM
Perpetua said...: #2 isn't weird. Food other people eat gets all mushed up, while mouths maintain their original shape/texture.

I'll share food, but I won't share someone's bite marks. :); January 14, 2010 at 7:09 PM
sybil law said...: I am a total idiot. For many, many reasons.
10 days?!! Woohoooo!!!! That's awesome!!!; January 14, 2010 at 8:12 PM
ExtraO said...: Charlie dies?; January 15, 2010 at 10:06 AM
Julie said...: Ok, Extra Ordinary Me just literally made me LOL.

Nina, you delight me. Idiot? Not so much.; January 15, 2010 at 11:25 PM

Post a Comment

Who are these people?

Bibi - God bless the guy who gets Bee. I can't even think of anything obnoxious to say about her. She can eat pasta without gaining weight, she can run the ridges at Gertrude's Nose with no fear, and she is by miles the best climber of all of us. She's going to Kili with us. Hell, she'll be leading.
Buzz Elder Brother. Cross me at your peril.
Jib computer wizard, entrepreneur, stand-up comedian, stand-up guy I can count on to catch a movie and hold hands in the dark without it having any meaning whatosever. Every woman needs a man like Jib.
Joe - locquacious, flirtatious, 40-something hiking buddy - also, ex-manfriend of Pax.
Larry, WPITW - climber, hiker, badass (not in the good way, either). At a given moment, at least half of us are not speaking to him.
Liam - My nephew, whose favorite words are "noing," "Bobby," "dumptruck," "job-site" and "Daddy." He also says "obstreperous" "pulchritudinous" and "Nina" upon request.
Merry - Australian BFF spends the summers on a yacht, nannying for a celebrity couple with two children. She lives in a brownstone and she has a chauffeur. And we have no idea who she works for.
Newsy has been my friend for about 22,000 hours. Or more. I don't have a calculator. She has about 3423% more professional and personal commitments than I do, and yet she still finds time to think about me. I find this astonishing. If you knew her, you'd be astonished, too.
Pax - climber, hiker, corporate warrior, used to date Joe. Sticks by Larry in spite of his horribleness. None of us understands this.
Skatey- he rides a skateboard. He can dance. He can throw a frisbee and he's not bad at karaoke, either.
Sri - Bengali princess who, aside from kicking my ass at climbing, and aside from being a smokin' hiker, brought down the evil empire of Larry and also once told me that "even girls' are turned on my breasts." Also never turns down "one more round."
Supajewie - Long distance drinking buddy, just about the only person I know who "gets it". And no, she's not Jewish. It's a long story.
Tex - is what happens when you take a normal man, add alcohol, subtract common sense and tact, and then buy him another drink.

English Teacher Disclaimer

I teach English, and I sometimes get a emotional about grammar, punctuation, and usage. I sometimes write posts about other people's grammar - or mine. This does not mean, however, that my blog is without errors. I constantly go back and edit for typos and sometimes even... misspelled words *clutching skull and gagging*. If you find a mistake feel free to call me out on it. I will persist in making mistakes whether I attempt to catch them or not, and I will continue to be my bitchy English teacher self despite my capacity to screw up just as often as the next person... and maybe more.