Saturday, July 18, 2009

Waiting, part two

My cat is on my bed exactly where I placed him last night. The food and water is untouched. And my cat is dead.

I feel surprisingly emotionless about it... so far. I keep telling myself that I have cleaned up my last sand dollar of cat puke. I keep telling myself that he will never scream at me again and again and again for no reason. I keep telling myself that he was old and that he was tired. (He was). Also it had to happen someday. And he was (obviously) suffering (last night, anyway). But I still feel like shit.

Should I have taken him to the vet last night when I realized he wasn't breathing right? Should I have gotten on the cat boards and hoped that cat fanatics on the west coast had an answer? Should I have been done something other than shove food and water at him? What could have saved him?

Well, whatever the case may be, he is not saved. I have stressed tested him and he is most assuredly not living.

As I write this, he is just where I left him on my bed last night, and yes, I know that is a violation of something or other. I'll have to take him to be cremated today (isn't that what I am supposed to do)? But right this minute, I am just waiting until I feel up to putting him in a duffle bag and taking him to the vet. Let's hope I get that going before the flies arrive.



Bon Voyage, Cathead. I loved you. I liked you. I wanted to feed you to other, foul-tempered animals.

But mostly I loved you. (You were darn cute).

Love,

Nina

13 comments:

Avitable said...

I'm sorry that your apparently evil cat has moved on to greener litter boxes.

Finn said...

I'm sorry, hon. I don't imagine that there was much to be done. Seventeen is a good, long cat life.

xo

Woodrow said...

Just through him in a dumpster and be done with it.

sybil law said...

Awww, Nina - I am sorry to hear it. I read the other post right before this one (this morning) and I'm sorry I wasn't around to catch it last night.
It's exactly how my cat, Shammy, died (who was also 17, oddly enough) last year. There's nothing you could've done, short of having them put him to sleep.
I'm sorry. I was mechanical and fairly emotionless, too, about Shammy - but my daughter was here when it happened, too. It took me a few days to cry.
xo

Anonymous said...

I am sorry but I am sure he lived a long and happy life with you and passed away in a natural way. mourn him, bury him and get out its the week end!F

ByJane said...

Seventeen is a good long life for a cat, but still.....

LizB said...

Sorry for your loss, but wow, what an amazing long life Cathead had. I'm sure there was nothing that could be done for him.

Julie said...

The only thing you could have done was have him euthanized.

Which, having heard many tales of Cathead, the trip to the vet alone would have pissed him right the hell off and stressed both of you needlessly.

I am sad for you.

I will miss the cat who prayed the Rosary.

Maggie said...

Oh, Nina, I'm so sorry. But no, dear, you could not have done anything. Cats know when it is their time, and they just get ready to go. You let him go peacefully, which was the best thing you could have done.

I'm sorry for your furry loss.

Sandy said...

SO sorry about Cathead! Sounds like he led a wonderful life of keeping you on your toes! He will be missed! (We even miss grouches in our daily lives!)
xo

Joel said...

I had a cat that went the same way. If it helps any, I took her to the vet and he said there wouldn't have been anything he could have done if I'd taken her earlier. At least your Cathead passed on in a familiar place.

May he have gone to a warm place with slaves to pet him and lots of rodents that are just a shade too slow to escape.

Kate P said...

Sorry to hear about Cathead's passing. He was quite the character--a real foil to yours, apparently, from the stories you would tell about him. (And Julie says he prayed the Rosary!?) Very memorable kitty.

Mr. Bingley said...

I'm sorry for your loss, Nina; pets mean a lot to me.

As a good friend of mine says, "the more I know about people, the more I love my dog."