Thursday, May 21, 2009


I left the house tonight to go buy intoxicants.  (We'll talk about that later). 

As I rounded the corner, I threaded my way through a half dozen guys.  

Internet, in case you were not aware, I attract the attention of people who linger on corners.  The usual greetings are variations of: 

Baby, you fine. 

Mama, take me home. 

Bring it, sistah. 

Baby, I'm your man. 

Etc. Etc. Etc. 

Most women find this kind of attention insulting.  I do not.  Why?  Because these mildly disrespectful greetings acknowledge that yes, I exist, and yes, despite my vice-like grip on celibacy and a single life, men still find something, anything about me worth comment. 

Today, however, was different.  As I rounded the corner, the guys did their gawking and I did my walking and I heard, plain as glass:  "Girl, you go on with them 40DDDs. " 

And internet, something happened.  It happened in the region of my brain responsible for poor decision making.  Instead of chuckling inwardly, I turned and faced the man and his poor estimation of the size and character of my breasts.  

I said, "Are you kidding me?  Not even close.  Want to hold them?" 

And the man who had spoken the numbers to me laughed so hard I thought he might lose a lung.  His friends laughed too.   And frankly we all had a good laugh about my boobs and then went on with our evening.  Half an hour later as I passed those very same guys on my way back from the store, they treated me with reverence typically reserved for nuns.  The very corner dweller who guessed my bra size tipped his hat and said, "Good evening, sister." 

So to him I said, "Good evening, sir." 

And a good evening to you, internet.  




Avitable said...

I shall require photos to properly assess the veracity of the gentleman's statement regarding your bust area.

Julie said...

That is frigging awesome. And I love you.

Finn said...

You are one fierce sistah, sistah.

Kate P said...

That was fantastic.

ByJane said...

You are bold and brilliant but, I guess, not so busty.

sybil law said...

I love calling guys on their BS!
Nice night! Have fun with the intoxicants!!

maryse said...

that is fantastic! as are you. no matter what your bra size.

LizB said...

Rock on with your bad self, but I am curious. What would you have done if he said, "Yeah sure, I'll hold them?"

Mr. Bingley said...

Well, you sure nipped that in the bud!

utenzi said...

D? How insulting. Maybe the fellow could only go that high on the alphabet.