Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Oh My Heck

So much has happened.

And yet nothing has really changed. I am the same underemployed college adjunct as I was and I have gathered no steam on the Phd front. I have only the most filmy vision of the future.

What's interesting is my total conviction that although things are not so great financially right now, they will get better. The getting better might be greatly facilitated by my getting off my ass and finding an additional job - but something (probably irresponsibility) is preventing me from taking that course. Something else seems... pending. I have started writing again suddenly, and it is not just a meandering trickle of over emotionalized clap trap about my hurt feelings or my wounded sense of entitlement. It is ever so much better than that - but I am not ready to share it yet. Soon.

I have missed you all. What happened? Well. What happened is that for a long, long time, this blog was fueled by a narrative. A story. A bad and terrible story, yes, but people want to know how it ended. Now that it has ended, good heavens what is left for us all to say to each other.

I really like to think that there is more to say. There must be more to say, because I think about you all so very much. Sizzle. LizB, KateP, LAS. All of you. But no one more than Adam Avitable. Adam, honey, I am trying to get my shit together and be a good friend. I am narcissistic and complicated and downright fearful that if you really knew me, you'd pass. But these are no excuse for my rudeness, and regardless of all other considerations, I adore you and your blog. And did I mention you?

The end.


6 comments:

Avitable said...

Real life is always a reason when one disappears from the Internet, and it's never something that needs forgiveness or explanation. I'm glad you're okay, and someday, we'll talk. :)

Catherine said...

Looking forward to more. Happy, hopeful, peaceful New Year.

:)

Megan said...

We'll find plenty of other things to talk about. Things are just shifting. I'll be here until you decide to quit (please don't quit).

Jane said...

What am I--mashed potatoes?

Julie said...

There's always another story.

Sending you love.

LizB said...

Can't wait to read more from you; proud to be one your friends.