Monday, September 3, 2007

Notice a theme, lately?

1) The person at Panic-Hire U who is supposed to give me materials for the class I am teaching has not returned my emails, phone calls, or even the note I left on his door in over a week now. I am going into the classroom tomorrow morning at 8:15, for the third day in a row, unprepared. I finally emailed his (and my) boss tonight, but I still don't have what I need - and I have no idea how I am going to explain that to my students in the morning. Perhaps we'll do MabLibs or draw pictures of what we did on our summer vacations!

2) I have not done laundry in over a month, and I am fast approaching the "zero-underwear" moment. I would have reached it a lot sooner had I not a serious over-interest in lingerie and therefore literally hundreds of bra-underwear combinations to choose from. However, since 40% of the floor in my apartment (it's only one room, people) is now covered by dirty clothes, it might be time for me to snap out of it. I could make it through the end of the week, but not more. If a person stops doing laundry and the clothing runs out, what happens? Does the person just stay home and molt in his or her sticky rags? Please pray that I do not have an answer to this question next week.

3) My air-conditioner is broken. That means that my apartment feels (and smells) like a sweaty jungle. I take upwards of three cold showers a day, just so I can avoid complete stickiness. Surely, the Sisters of Charity at St. Elizabeth Academy would approve - unless they also knew that I am forced to dry off with old t-shirts because my towels all smell like mold. Check out that Catholic Convent-School website and you'll readily see that I was NOT raised to behave this way. I am a disgrace to Catholic school girls everywhere.

4) I got an email from Larry telling me that (it's complicated) he wants to avoid seeing me (and expects me to avoid running into him). He writes "I don't know what the future holds, but this is what I need right now." Perhaps one of these days when I am home in the afternoon, clutching my head and screaming because all my underwear is dirty and I do not have the moral fortitude to get off my ass and cope with mountain of sweaty-jungle clothes, I'll write a post that explains why exactly it is that a man I never dated and never liked in that way could reasonably send me a break-up email - and why I would be sad about it. Summary: so much for NOT DATING so as to NOT have to deal with bullshit like this. Because all this time I didn't have a boyfriend, I might as well have had one if I had known someone would be uttering the words "what I need right now" in my direction. Is that irony? Or just stupidity? I forget. (And I really ought to find something else to do to teach English).

5) I called my Dad today and he told me that the next few months are going to be rough. Then he said: "When I am breathing my last, it would be nice to have all my kids around me, but until then, I don't think I can handle visitors." Needs no comment, I think.

Normally, I am mentally posing in front of my misery camera* about 35% of my waking hours. Lately, it is 100%. I work if I absolutely have to and I spend the rest of my time on pointless googling and eyebrow trimming, and mole checking and waist and hip measuring. Sometimes I stare out the window and sometimes I stare to the floor. And then... oh, internet!

I fear for my sanity unless SOMETHING, ANYTHING good happens. Anything at all will do. Please. Soon.

* in case you missed it (and how could you?) the theme is self-pity.


Woodrow said...

Wish I was better at encouraging.

Hope things take a turn for the better for you and yours. Soon.

Lola said...

Gotta' love life...sometimes it's utterly craptastic!
I'll come and help you do laundry while chatting completely idly over gin and tonic or a bottle of good white which I sjall procure for us. Pick a night? And yes that would be a Good thing! No?

Who am I? said...

Woodrow: you are excellent at encouraging. Thank you.

Lola: I love you, and it is for this reason that you will never see my apartment (or me) in this condition.

World: You know a person loves you when he or she offers to get you drunk and help you sort your sweaty-jungle clothing. I am heartbroken, yes, but I know where I have been lucky in life: my friends.