This morning, my dentist said, "These are some good lookin' teeth. Perfect architecture. Straight and even. Tough enamel. Good color. But you, despite the gift of good genes and some good looking teeth, don't floss but once a week and you grind them so bad the ligaments in your face are spreading." (Yes, he really did say these things). (We are pals).
Then he told me that since I have a little bit of metal in my mouth from back when I was about 10, I need to get the fillings out and replaced with porcelain. Uh, ok. At $2500 a filling. Ok.
So I asked him how long I could wait to do this and do you know what that old wise-ass said?
"You got about 5000 bites left in these fillings."
"And how long is that?"
"Well I don't know, but if you lay off the nachos, better than a year."
I didn't bother to tell him that I have been laying off the nachos for quite some time. Odd thing is, I am just as chubby as ever, which means it is time for desperate measures, such as the crazy.
I will let you know how it goes.