I hate my job at Panic so much that it would be difficult to write about it in even a slightly amusing way. Some quotes from my students yesterday might explain it better.
"Since we are in law school, I thought I would write my paper on how to bribe people. You know, because that might be illegal. Oh, and I'll give you a case of Vitamin Water if you give me a C."
Reader, I do not work at a law school. No! Also, the Vitamin Water is delicious and that fool is still failing my class.
"I had to skip history class to meet with you because even though I knew you'd be here later, I didn't want to miss my place in line."
Reader, I emailed the history department head and explained that history absences are not to be excused, and definitely not due to a student having a meeting with me. My students then claimed that I 'told' on them.
"I don't understand why I have to do all this work for a B. I high school I didn't do anything and I got Bs. What do you think this is?"
"Miss, why do you have to be like that? I don't have time to write this paper over again and my mom will kill me if I don't get an A."
I am definitely not giving you and A and I hope your mom kills you and goes to jail and doesn't have any more babies.
It'll be over soon. One more week.
Pray for me.