Monday, July 28, 2008

Nina speaks

Thank you to everyone who has guest blogged this week. I appreciate your kind words and your stories and your support more than you will ever know.

What happens next?

The "fun"eral will be this weekend. Emphasis on "fun" because we are going to try to very very hard not to look at this as The End. It so obviously is The End that we can't help but feel foolish, but we, as a family, need a new beginning, an opportunity for all of us to re-examine our lives and solidify the bonds in our family. My step mother has been an absolute wreck for the last week and things are critically shitty fro her right now. My brother and I are doing better than she is, which is nine kinds of ironic, but I expect I'll have the bad manners to complain about that later. No worries, internet. You can count on me to continue to say all manner of things that I should not say.

Starting with this: I am glad it is over. I am glad for him because he was suffering so terribly. And I am glad for me because the his cancer has been the centerpiece of my life for far too long. I need to be myself again.

(I don't know who that is anymore. I'll, uh, let you know when I make progress in that area).


My dad was the greatest blessing of my life. I could say that fifty ways and it would still sound like a blah blah blah, so I won't try to explain that further.

I'll be posting here and there in the next week or so. Anyone who wants to guest post here who does not yet have authority: just let me know. Anyone who has already guest posted who feels like doing it again: go for it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You all have been wonderful.

15 comments:

ByJane said...

Nina, I'm so glad you're going to have a "fun"eral. They are the best kind. It's a celebration of a life, I think, and people need to remember the how human the person was. You seem to have lots of funny stories about your dad--or maybe it's the way you view/tell them that's funny. Go for it. Make people laugh. Just be....

gotcownow.com said...

I'd love to guest post for you.

Catherine said...

I'll be chiming in here sometime soon.

Kate P said...

Glad we could be of service, Nina. I have one more post brewing that may go up in the next couple days.

P said...

My dearest Nina, much love to you and your family. Good things are around the corner for you. That sounds like fortune cookie nonsense, but I believe it.

Rick(y) said...

I've lost people who I've really thought should be mourned heavily. When I made the attempt, felt the feelings, and the tingling in back of my eyes, all I could do was smile.

Avitable said...

What kind of music does one play at a "fun"eral?

nightfly said...

Nina - don't you worry 'bout us. Heal. Smile. Celebrate the wonderful life of your Dad and be grateful for all he's meant to all of you.

Dagny said...

Love to you.

xoxo

country roads said...

I was oddly hoping that you would feel ready to find yourself again. :-)

123Valerie said...

There's no right way to grieve or to love, my dear Nina. Getting back to you is going to be a wonderful journey and we hope you're willing to share.

LizB said...

Glad to hear from you, Nina. Take your time, love.

sybil law said...

Thanks for the update! You're in my thoughts... and they aren't dirty thoughts, either. Really. :D

Annie said...

Much love coming your way.

ingrid said...

Hi Nina,
xoxoxoxo
You are all kinds of wonderful.
Thinking of you and your family.
You dad sounds like such a marvelous guy. Hat and all.