Saturday, February 23, 2008

Warning: Reader may be hazardous to your relationship

One afternoon while I was typing at warp speed to Supa, the main receptor of my innermost thoughts and feelings, she interjected that she was having some marital badness. Of course I was stunned and awaited an explanation.

The explanation that followed was "Rich thinks I am having an affair."

Now, people, no one knows better than I that Supajewie is most assuredly not having an affair. If she were she would almost have to be IMing me from her cell phone while having sex with the extra-marital subject because Supa and I are attached at the back of the mind via IM all day, every day. Plus I also know other things about her, like the fact that she has a toddler and a serious attachment to her husband, that would prevent her from straying.

Several months back Supa and her husband Rich put a WEP password on their wireless internet to prevent their neighbors from sponging off their router. Since then, Rich has checked the logs to make sure no one is sponging. When he checked a few days ago, he discovered that his beloved wife, Supajewie, was logging in several times a day to an internet dating site, Justsayhi.

Can anyone hear a confrontation coming? Yeah, me too.

So Rich comes home from work and suggests that Julie, who is, as recently documented here, still in love with her husband is screwing around.

Now, I have known Supa a long long time, and though I can't claim to know everything about her, I can tell you one thing with mathematical certainty: she does not lie. If Supa does something untoward or absolutely disgusting or even unambiguously immoral, she tells me. Like that time she drank a whole lot of bourbon, smoked some grass and had sex with that idiot she was dating back when we worked at the bookstore? Yeah. The first thing she did when she got her underwear back in place was tell me (oh and probably Xris) that she had in fact gotten drunk and high and naked with that idiot. (RICH! CALM DOWN! This was years before she ever met you).

My point is, there was never any doubt in my mind that Supa was not logging into the an internet dating site. Never. Any. Doubt.

So we set about proving her innocence. When telling Rich that the problem had to be an sponger, he only half believed it because LOOK! It's right there in black and white! It's Julie's IP address!

I had the bright idea that Julie show Rich her browser cache, which of course had no "Justsayhi" history. He was then relatively certain she was not having an affair, so they were out of the badness woods. But still confused as to how those bits about the dating site could have made it into the log.

Well.

It turns out that another website known as "Justsayhi" has a widget generator and that, uh, the widget generator once generated a widget for this blog. Glance over there at that "rated R" widget. It is generated by Justsayhi and it sends a line of justsayhiness to your internet logs every time you read my blog. And if your spouse finds out about this, it could be a marriage altering event.

So think twice before you stop by to read my daily ramblings. It might seem like a harmless read, but you might being doing real harm to your marriage just by learning more about my back fat and my daddy issues.


Have an unbad Saturday.

9 comments:

Julie said...

In defense of my "relationship" with the idiot boyfriend... He was really really tall...

Avitable said...

I'll tell my wife that's why the log shows "TrannyHorsePorn.com" too.

I'm blaming everything on Nina!

Marlee said...

How in the HELL would you figure something like that out???

I wonder how I can get my husband to check our logs...

;)

Kate P said...

Excellent sleuthing!

You're not messing me up any. If anything this probably confirms to the IT department at work, if they check logs, that I'm as pathetically, painfully single as they think I am.

UrbanHippieMama said...

My husband might be excited that I really AM trying to find us another wife. Or, at least a sexually adventurous girlfriend...
logging on to justsayhi now!

cajunvegan said...

I knew that lovin' you and your blog would get me in trubs with the hubs someday.

LizB said...

I'll take my chances; you're worth it.

Maggie said...

See, what annoyed me here was that her husband actually *believed* that she was dating behind his back. I would think that should be the last conclusion he would come to, not the first. ANd that she should not have had to show him her history files to get his trust back.

I mean, good thing she has you to come up with that suggestion, but now that the proof has been presented, I would think that the marital crisis is just beginning...

Effortlessly Average said...

You sure it's not actually sending a line for "CircusAnimalPorn.com" instead?