PAVTAC: People Against Violence Toward Annoying Cats, please help me. My cat. Oh my God.
Would you believe that at one point this afternoon, I picked up my cat-head and approached the open window intending to drop him fourteen stories to his death?
First, he is annoying. He sings all day and he bitches about the food and only likes me between midnight and six am. He expresses this very transient affection by sleeping on my head. (I don't like that).
Second and more to the point, he stole my Xanax. I was sitting here doing my stultifying and soul-sucking job when I got it into my head that I should check the linen drawer - which is cat-head's favorite place to sleep during the daytime.
There I found cat-head, stoned out of his gourd with the baglet between his teeth. He was nibbling at the seal. He was probably about three nibbles from having a complete break through and ODing right there in the linen drawer.
He sure looked happy, though.
Thank you to everyone who prayed for the return of my drugs. Y'all are pals.
Oh and speaking of cat-challenges, go read this.
Tomorrow I will honor the beautiful, virtuous, and wicked smart Em's request and talk about my heights phobia. So embarrassing.