Recently, a friend (who does appear pictured at the left, but would not like to be identified, even in fictional form), tried to explain what it was like to, uh, have a relationship with and man who has all his parts accounted for, as in precisely the way he was born.
Can you tell I am having a bit of trouble saying the word "penis" on my blog? Oh my good heavens I just said it.
Her opinion regarding the anotomically uninterfered with man's character is quite complimentary. Her fear of his man-parts, however, is total.
Nameless Friend: "It just looks so... different. Also, I don't know what to do with it."
Nina: "Just how different are we talking about, here?"
Nameless Friend : "It's just all... it's... I can't.... "
Nina: "Shall we do a google image search?"
Nameless Friend: "NO! NO! Because even if I told you what it looks like, that's only the beginning of the issue. It's just so fucking weird."
Nina: "Did you really just say that?"
Nameless Friend: "Well ok it's... "
Nina: "Does it work?"
Nameless Friend: "Uh, yes. For me, anyway."
Nina: "You can assume it works for him, then. Male creatures make sure it works. It "working" ranks pretty high for them."
Nameless Friend: "Yeah, but I can't really touch it."
Nameless Friend: "Because... it moves."
Nina: "OH! You mean like when you flick it with a rubber band?"
Reader, I can't go on. To do so would be an insult to my own dignity and the dignity of my friend. Also, I am in complete ignorance regarding this subject. I think I once made out with a guy who might have been uninterfered with, but I have no real experience with man-parts uninterfered with for either medical or religious purposes. Can you tell how much I don't want to use the words "uncircumcised penis" on my blog? Oh my good heavens what did I just say? Never mind.
I now offer the following views of on the subject, one written by an internet quasi-celebrity with little but his charming potty mouth as a credential, and one written by a charming, well-mannered European woman, one I can only assume knows how the man parts work. (Removing part of the man parts is not common in Europe... unless the infant is Jewish).
This, nameless friend, is the most I can do for you regarding the subject in general. My advice with regard to this particular man, since you like the other 95% of him, is to ask him how all his parts work. Explain your ignorance and get the information. If he doesn't want to explain or he thinks you are an ignorant slut, you can kindly point out that if you were more of a slut, you might have seen a creature such as himself before. If he explains, you might eventually like his parts. If so, get back to me about the rubber band. You can usually find one in a kitchen drawer, and... well. Never mind.
Tune in tomorrow for more about parts. Well, not really. Tomorrow, I'll probably just talk about my needle work.