Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Oh my, pumpkin pie

Ever had a day so bad you kept looking over your shoulder to see if a TV crew was following you? Because honestly there is no way shit this bad happens to people who are NOT in a soap opera?

Reader, today, in the Life of Nina, the following exchanges took place:

Nina to student: Why didn't you do your library project?

Student to Nina: Because it sucked.

Nina to Student: Your use of the pronoun "it" is unclear. What sucked?

Student, giggling: Yo, the project just blows.

Nina, walking away: So does your grade, Adulcio.

Nina to Buzzer: Hey. How was the visit?

Buzzer to Nina: Dad is leaving the house to 'cita. But she's willing to sell it to us.

Nina, hyperventilating: Are we going to inherit enough to even have a shot at affording it?

Buzzer: I don't know, but I doubt it.

Nina: Maybe we should poison her Percocet.

Buzzer: You're fucking crazy.

Nina: Yes. Yes I am. Four years of marriage, spent in her nightgown eating chocolate, and she inherits a house worth a million dollars. Crazy? Why, yes. You could say I am a little out of gear, yes. Rat poison, like.

Buzzer, pausing: we may have to talk later, when you are not "like this."

Nina: I will be "like this until" my father's house is deeded to his children. But talk to you later? Sure. You betcha.

Nina to observer: So, my class totally sucked.

Observer to Nina: Well, your students kind of suck, that's true.

Nina to observer: Sorry you had to see that.

Observer to Nina: Eh, it's ok. There wasn't much you could do about it.

Nina to observer: Except cut off their heads and intsall the information directly into their skulls?

Observer, pausing: I, uh, am not sure I'd recommend that.

Nina, pausing: well, what? I'd clean up the mess.

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