Well not exactly... not really. Months ago, learned that bars all over New York City have free condoms for the asking, and so, in a bid to be more brave and also more silly, I decided I'd go get some -- you know, just to see if it were possible.
Well, I never quite managed it. I asked in a fews bars and the lovely bar waiters were far more interested in why on earth a creature such as myself would desire such objects than they were in actually producing them. (I think said establishments must have been out).
Well, yesterday I got lucky. I teach classes at a high school on Tuesday and Thursday nights, and lo! What did I see on the steps leading up to my classroom? *
And so I must infer that high schools in New York City give free condoms to their students - and that students use them IN THE BUILDING -- or perhaps upwrap them for entertainment value. Balloon animals, perhaps? In any case, had the wrapper been untorn and stuffed with a condom, I would have hired a carrier pidgeon and sent it to Maggie since she is as amused by them as I am.
Anyway, I got some. Well, not really. I got a wrapper of some, which, considering my romantic and sexual inclinations (zero), is plenty.
* If you think it's gross that I picked the thing up and brought it home, you are 100% correct. But a) I am not a germophobe an b) soap is cheap and water is free and c) I did it for YOU, so stop being so uppity, already.