No, no. Not THOSE kind of bullets.
I mean the kind you make when you are drowning in impudent commas and belligerent semi-colons and mis-appropriated dashes - and - dare I say it? subject-verb disagreements. The kind you make when the last little wisp of joy will escape from your soul if you see one more dangling modifier.
* I took a taxi this morning. It was because of Jesus. (No, I am never going to provide an explanation for that).
* Upon exiting the taxi, I lost my balance just a little, and my four dollars change slipped from my fingers and blew away into the street. That was because of Jesus, too. (Yes, someone needed that $4 more than I do).
* I took the bus home after having the last little wisp of... never mind.
* On the bus was a homeless woman, the kind with a sick, desperate smell of unwashed alcoholism emanating from her person.
* Three teenaged boys on the bus made fun of her. She could hear them and she was blinking back tears.
* To the first teenager, I said, "Watch your language, there are ladies present," indicating the half-dead homeless woman.
* To the second and third, I said, "I am ashamed of you."
* Gosh, they were bad-ass. All staring at the floor acting like nothing happened.
* On my way off the bus, I turned to say thank you, as I always do, and the driver said, smiling, "You go on, pretty white girl. You go on."
* Jelly beans are on sale.
s a painless as this. I really didn't mind it half so much as I make it sound.
Thank you for reading.