Last night on the elevator, I was standing next to a man. Looks, age and weight class unimportant. We were ignoring each other as people are supposed to do on elevators, so you can imagine my (un)surprise when, as the elevator stopped at floor eleven, he turned to me as said:
I need a bigger boat.
And then he walked off the elevator as if that was the same thing as saying have a nice evening and I will doubtless never see him again so ask what he meant when he told me about his boat problem. Perhaps it was just a metaphor?
This morning on my way to the 7 train, a woman in a long blue dress and a veil stopped me and said:
Thank you for sweatin' it with my workin' spirit.
Oh. Okay.
And finally this afternoon, I was talking with a student. I was trying to explain to him that in place of the word "female" it would be best to use the word "woman" - especially when referring to adult humans of the XX chromosomal arrangement. Below, our conversation.
Why?
Because the word woman includes both the notion that female creatures of our species are, in fact, one of us. Human.
I don't get it.
When you say "female" instead of "woman" you might be referring to any number of breeding zoo animals. Women are people.
Miss, have you seen some of the bitches on MTV?
I am Nina's complete lack of surprise.
See you tomorrow.
10 comments:
Oh my god, that's so funny because I need a bigger boat too.
Why does it feel (to me) like you're in a David Fincher movie?
You should have asked him if he had called Julie about fuckingboat. Oh wait, it is actually sold!!! whoohoo!!
The lady in the blue dress is freaking my shit out. And I wasn't even there.
I have nearly the same "female vs. woman" conversation (except for the "bitches on MTV" part) with all the cops in my life. They just don't get it. So I generally ask, "Female what?" every time use that word instead of woman.
And those other things? I could tell you stories from when I was about 15-17. I'm a freak magnet.
Seems more like a David Lynch film to me :-).
Yeah, he should have called us about Fuckingboat.
Dang. Just dang.
Where is his mother?
Maybe these people aren't actually talking, Nina. Have you ever had hallucinatory episodes before?
Are you perhaps giving off an odd mix of pheremones that drives people to divulge to you whatever random thought is going through their head at that very moment?
Reminds me of that Lewis Black bit about overhearing a woman say "...if it wasn't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college."
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