I could give you the mitigating factors, but why take the sting out of it? Why not just go all the damned way for it?
Here it is:
I have been flirting with, carrying on a pre-affair...
with a married man.
Yes, me. Nina alone-a-lot. Nina judgmental and prudish. Nina never does anything racy or dangerous (unless you count sporting activities), has been engaged in conversation way too personal and way too friendly with a person of the opposite sex who is currently married.
Does it count that his marriage is circling the drain? Does it count that he is, uh separated? Does it help matters at all that his wife is already seeing someone else? Do I feel any better about the fact that aside from talking to him on the phone, nothing has "happened" between us?
I am going to go hold my body parts over lit candles now, just so I can be sure I know what hell is like.
*update: I am not having an affair with a married man. Everyone calm down. This is a friend thing. He just happens to be a going through a tough divorce and we talk. Mostly about how he is getting divorced and how much it sucks. So calm down, ok? *
See you tomorrow. That is unless I get hit by a truck and then go to the hot and fiery place.
*air-kiss*
13 comments:
Well dear, that IS a doozy. I have no advice. Just hugs.
Been there. Done that.
If he really is "done" with his marriage and they are not living together. . .it's better than if he is still living in the same home and "trying to figure out" what he wants.
Be careful of your heart.
Hmm, I've typed about 3 comments and then deleted them all. No judgment from me at all - I just wish I knew what to say. Well, I do kind of know actually, but well, you know.
I did this twice, heart broken twice. The thing is they need time to be really done with the marriage. Best of luck, maybe yours will be different.
Keep clear of romance until he rebounds from this. Unless you don't mind being rebound girl.
Flirting... no so sinful.
LizB wasn't un-calm. You're an adult and so is he.
Welcome to the Dirty Mistress Club! Have a drink. Let's chat.
I dunno; maybe he's totally hot and you should just make out with him. heh
Or, yeah, you could be careful too and all that better advice.
Or, you could just forget him and make out with me instead. heh.
Sounds like if they are separated and she is already seeing someone else then he is free to flirt and be way too personal with you. So, what's the problem? Yea, you could be a rebound thing and if you were attached to him you might get hurt but I'd imagine that you've lived enough life to be familiar with and able to handle disappointment and that can happen regardless of who you are getting way too personal with. So I, for one, am calm. Carry on.
If his marriage is over, I see no problem and thereby and absolve you of all sin!
Just make sure it's not a fellow blogger, else we'll all know about it eventually, and quelle mess!
No, seriously, I think you are sin-free. However, regarding whether or not this is *wise*...
There's a rule of thumb that you have to wait a month for every year of the marriage/serious relationship before they're ready to have another healthy relationship, instead of something reboundy or twisted. My boyfriend was divorced for a year, and separated for over a year before that, when we started dating. And still, issues com up sometimes. He was also conscientious enough to have a rebound relationship, in which the terms were very clear, before trying to get serious with me.
So you want to talk and flirt? Fine, we all have our hobbies -- me, I made out with a 22-year-old last week. I'm just saying, don't expect it to develop into anything good or healthy or long-term.
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