Sunday, December 16, 2007

Monkey One to Monkey Two

Maggie loves monkeys. Many times this weekend, I felt very monkey like, and I wished I had a walkie talkie connection to Maggie so I could say:

"Monkey one to Monkey two.... come in, Monkey."

and then hear Maggie say:

"Monkey two to Monkey one, did you really mean east, Monkey?"

and then I could say:

"Monkey two, probably not. I am bad with directions, Monkey."

and then Maggie could say:

"Monkey two to Monkey one, this is becoming a pain in my Monkey ass, Monkey one. Which way should I turn, Monkey?"

and then I could say:

"Monkey one to Monkey two, sorry about the ass-pain. As it turns out, I am more dim Monkey than I am fairy. But I digress, Monkey. Try south, Monkey."

amd then Maggie could say:

"Monkey one, there are a lot of books in here, Monkey one. Which books do you mean, Monkey?"

and then I could say:

"Monkey one to Monkey two, try to red one about twelve feet in front of you, just to the right there. They are heavy, Monkey. And not in English, Monkey. Look behind them, Monkey two."

and then Maggie could say:

"Monkey two to Monkey one, I am speechless. These mittens are very small and not symmetrical at all. Also, Monkey one, the card looks like it was written by a six year old, Monkey."

and then I could say:

"Money one to Monkey two, please stop noticing these things. Please measure your mitteny happines and report back, Monkey."


So Maggie and I tried to use Twitter for this purpose, but it so didn't work because we both Twitter from our computers, and frankly neither of us really understands the point of Twitter. It's sort of like tossing an update on your finger nail growth out into the universe. As if anyone cares.

I am sorry. Where was I?

Behold the comment left about ten minutes ago by Jodi, friend of Maggie. Jodi doubtless had to put up with every kind of inconvenience this weekend, all on account of a simple pair of gray mittens. And my insanity.

Jodi writes:

Update on the Mitten Maddness '07:I am here on Maggie's behalf to report that said mittens have been recovered! The weather held out long enough for us to return to the 'mitten drop', make the pick-up and (after a silent prayer to the train goddess) arrive at Penn Station with an actual five minutes to spare before Maggie's train departed for Beantown. All is well. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming...

Many thanks for stopping by and updating us, Jodi. Maggie, get home safely and try to forgive me for making you rush to make the train.

Tomorrow morning, I hide these mittens for target Rick:

Let's all hope he has an easier time getting to his than Maggie did hers.


utenzi said...

Monkey Three to Monkey one, lovely mittens.

Nina said...

Monkey one to Monkey three, why, thank you, monkey.