The worst thing I did this week was take a xanax, down a glass of wine and about a half pound of peppermint bark, and then fall asleep sitting up on the couch in the middle of leaving a comment on someone's blog.
I probably did worse things, but that's the most amusing thing I did that qualifies and both wrong and disgusting, so that's what you get. Here, I will draw you a picture of it so you know how funny it was when I woke up not dead (yay!) with my computer on my lap and a handful of sticky peppermint bark.
** update: Mr. Fab suggested I might look flat chested and naked in my first drawing. Here is a new one.
I want to be extra clear: 1) that's a mini-skirt, 2) I have never been naked in my entire life unless there was a reason; I do not sit around the house naked; maybe someday I'll post about why but the reason has a lot to do with the fact that 3) I have not been flat chested or anything like it since I was 13 and finally 4) If you think it's difficult to draw a shirt over those circles (which I clearly did not even attempt to do), try finding bras and shirts to go over them in real life. (Hint: it's not easy, people). **
In other spiritual news, I scored an 80 out of a 100 on the Catholic Sex Quiz created by Father Joe.
Take a good look and see whose name is right there under Papa-ratzi's? See that? It's my name. Nina. I feel my score should be higher because I had no idea that impotent men could not marry. What idiot who knows anything about the Catholic Church would guess that erections were a requirement for marriage? Not this idiot. Father Joe conceded that the item on divorce is a trick question. Therefore I feel I deserve a 90. At least. Also, should I not also get 5 bonus points for NOT knowing all the precise technical rules about man-parts, considering I am a woman?
I certainly think so.
Happy New Year (almost). And thank you for reading.