Thursday, December 13, 2007

Wanted: Weaponry Info

Because of this handy test provided by Poppy, I now see that I would not survive a Zombie Apocalypse.


Looking for payday loan?


Not, as you might have guessed, because I don't have the heart to drive an ax through the skull of a zombie who just happens to be a former relative. And, not, as you might reasonably have surmised (reasonably! surmised!) because I don't stock enough dry goods to get me through three months (I do).

My score plummeted when I disclosed that I do not know how to shoot stuff. I know what a gun looks like and I know where the trigger is, but I don't really know anything else about guns. At all. Also guns, like motorcycles and circus clowns, scare me a little bit. (OK... a lot).

So I ask you, internet: what is there to know about guns except for don't point the barrel at yourself before you pull the trigger, don't keep a loaded one in your house, and don't piss off people who own more than one?

Unrelated: tomorrow is Mitten Friday, and my target is Rick. Tomorrow's post will be a five haiku chain of hints as to the location of his brand new mittens. If you are in the New York City area and you'd like to try to beat Rick to the mittens, you now know where to get the clues. If not, stop by his place and wish him luck, would you?

Have an excellent Thursday.


country roads said...

I'm ready for those damn zombies. bring 'em on!

em said...

I only have a 32% chance of survival. What did I do wrong?!

Woodrow said...


I was given a double barreled 12 gauge for my 13th birthday. So if you have gun questions, I'm your huckleberry.

Rick said...

I'm great with guns. AND I've been studying and practicing martial arts for more than half my life. 53% You think that would have helped. I think my initial compassion to go save the ones I love if I thought they were in trouble really hurt my score. Even though I wouldn't hesitate to turn their toupés into patté if they were coming at me with that zombified look in their eyes.

Maggie said...

I will be in NYC this weekend, but I promise not to hunt down and poach Rick's mitts.

That said, how will the Northeast Corridor mitten drop work, Nina? I could give you poetic hints for where to mail them, but that sounds dicey...

And did Persephone ever find hers?

Nina said...

Country Roads, I'll be sure to stand by you during the apocalypse.

Em, you are probably too kind and gentle to kill the zombies.

Woodrow, 72% is impressive. I don't even know what a 12 gauge is. That is a really really loud one, right?

Rick, this might be my favorite comment of the entire week. Except for the one where Maggie explained that cream cheese goes on saltines and NOT Triscuits. Ever.

Maggie, I am prepared for mitten distribution as long as the zombies don't get me first. Your mittens are almost done and the haiku for the location of yours will appear in tomorrow's post, which goes up at midnight. Persephone found hers on Tuesday. She says she likes them.

P said...


I got me some mittens. They are BEAUTIFUL.

Eat your heart out, people:

em said...

I want mittens.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Hmm...I have a 47% chance of survival, which is a better result than when I took the quiz for the first time several months ago.

I guess I am a tougher SOB these days.

Maggie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maggie said...

Mittens! Mittens mittens mittens! I have goosebumps, literal actual bumps of excitement on my arms.

Nina, you are the best. And I am so sorry I gave you such short notice whether I was coming down this weekend. Between my fall on Monday and the snowfall yesterday (12 inches! You know you want to move up here, or at least visit!), I was really on the fence.

But now that I know there are lovely mittens waiting for me, it will all be worth it!

In other news:
-- I am 47% prepared for a zombie attack. As 47 is my lucky number, I'm fine with those odds. (I am also, apparently, Rambaldi.)
-- Regarding cream cheese with saltines:I don't think I approve of any kind of Easy Cheese other than Sharp Cheddar, but whipped cream cheese is definitely a suitable alternative, and makes for easier spreading on the fragile saltines. Julie and I may have to throw you a cream cheese party one day.
-- It looks like I need to better learn how to use Twitter, if anyone wants to explain.

Nina said...

P, you have no idea how much I have loved this game. I am in your debt for playing along.

Mr. Fab, you are Fabby to me, though. Too bad you don't need mittens in Florida - although I am under contract to make an entire sweater for Avi. I don't think I am going to get that one done before Christmas.

Em, email me address, mittens will arrive. That simple.

Maggie, Yay for mittens! I am as excited as you are. Check your email. We'll figure it out from there.... :-)