Looking for payday loan?
Not, as you might have guessed, because I don't have the heart to drive an ax through the skull of a zombie who just happens to be a former relative. And, not, as you might reasonably have surmised (reasonably! surmised!) because I don't stock enough dry goods to get me through three months (I do).
My score plummeted when I disclosed that I do not know how to shoot stuff. I know what a gun looks like and I know where the trigger is, but I don't really know anything else about guns. At all. Also guns, like motorcycles and circus clowns, scare me a little bit. (OK... a lot).
So I ask you, internet: what is there to know about guns except for don't point the barrel at yourself before you pull the trigger, don't keep a loaded one in your house, and don't piss off people who own more than one?
Unrelated: tomorrow is Mitten Friday, and my target is Rick. Tomorrow's post will be a five haiku chain of hints as to the location of his brand new mittens. If you are in the New York City area and you'd like to try to beat Rick to the mittens, you now know where to get the clues. If not, stop by his place and wish him luck, would you?
Have an excellent Thursday.