... a fun filled place with a thing called The Nile. Only I am so deep in it that I can't see the water for the water - nor do I care what country it is as long as there is a steady supply of diet soda, Doritos, and, um, well. I like it when the sun comes up and later it goes down and I can say I "did" another day, even if the doing of that day involved nothing more complicated than going out for diet ginger ale, of which I consume potentially life-threatening quantities.
Sometimes, however, denial is briefly arrested and I must face the general unpleasantness. I got a box in the mail from my step-mother today, containing the following items:
A crystal paperweight that I bought him (with his money) for his birthday when I was seven years old. He had kept it on his desk for thirty years.
She also sent me his class ring from college, which he wore throughout my childhood - but rarely wore after he retired. It's on a string around my neck. (Except for the moment when I took it off so I could take this picture for you).
The thing is, despite all this river business, I know it's going to really jump up and bite me in the ass one day soon that I am spending the weeks post End of the World (version 2.2) acting like nothing at all has happened. Seriously. I drink ginger ale and I work on stuff. With enough controlled substances, I sleep. It's almost like nothing ever happened, except it totally did, and maybe I am just not ready to even leave the Egyptian river. The real danger of drowning will ramp up when I get out. So I ain't doin' it. Stayin' in.
(Not nearly as off my nut as this post suggests. But getting my paper weight and my dad's college ring in the mail does get a girl's head above water for a moment. She does not like it and so back under water she goes. Maybe tomorrow I'll surface again for a minute or two, but that's not a promise).
(Still appreciating you - will post more about that (the appreciation) tomorrow).
Have a good weekend, and thank you for reading.