Monday, August 11, 2008

Why ever not

Yesterday was a banner day for me, productivity wise:

1) I put all the laundry in the laundry place.
2) I put all the stuff that goes in The Pile in to... The Pile.
3) I showered! (I even flossed and exfoliated)!
4) I really, truly, did prep work for classes - that begin in one week.

I even slept last night on less medication. Wondering how much I took last night? Are you ready for this? 45mg of temazepam and half a xanax. If you think that's gross, I'll just not tell you what it was taking to make me unconscious before the recent End of the World (version 2.2).

The result was I had a dream wherein my apartment was some kind of tube. In my tube, I had a walk in refrigerator, sort of like you'd see at the butcher's shop. On a shelf in a jar were three huge crawfish - big as lobsters, really. They were starving and fighting with each other, possibly trying to eat each other. On the floor of my walk-in preserver of deadness for later consumption, there were hundreds of dead, moldering octopuses. Only they were trying to wrap their feelers around my ankles.

The only upside to this dream as the diner style coffee maker that just never seemed to stop brewing. Coffee pot after coffee pot after coffee pot. Only it didn't spill because there seemed to be and endless stream of people there, strangers, in fact, pouring and drinking it.

Feel free to, um, interpret my dug-light dream for me. Or, you can just go ahead and regret that you stopped by today, as I would if I were you.* To take the sting out of that, I repost for you my giraffe with seven legs.** She is also wearing tights. I hope it helps.

Have a good Monday.

* I don't feel as bad as this post suggests. I just had terrible nightmares, probably from trying to cut back on drugs, which I is what I should be doing. If you want further upside, I haven't been drinking... at all... since my dad died. This deserves a post all its own. My lack of drunkenness puzzles me. I mean, who DOESN'T go on a wild ass bender, when... well, you know. I should be drunk 24/7 right now, and yet I am just... not. Can't figure that one out, either.

** By the way, I am still appreciating all of you. I think I am going to make it through the month without having to try to make pancakes out of contents of my vacuum filter, and that wouldn't be true at all without your help.

Ok I am really done talking now. Have a good Monday.


Dagny said...

I am impressed. Mr. Dagny and I were just talking about my 3 week insane bender after my Dad died...I was shitfaced for 3 whole weeks. Didn't eat, just drank and passed out. I did enjoy the weight loss that incurred...heh.

Anyway, glad you got some less medicated sleep.


Avitable said...

Classes start in a week already? Feels like you never even really got a break.

Annie said...

I think you are doing so well. I am proud of you. As for your dreams-I have not a clue what they mean, but they were interesting

catherine said...

I also have had a dream that involved dead animals that were moving around (slowly or not much movement) and doing things. You know red-eye in photos? Their eyes looked just like that and they reminded me of zombies, but they were not all haggard or intending to be scary like zombies. The apt seeming like a tube, that is so interesting! Places in my dreams are often warped or morphed in to other places entirely but still supposed to be place #1, and I just naturally accept that it looks all different. Dreaming is fascinating.

ellie said...

I hope every day gets a little easier. :) It's had to take help from others, especially when you are the one that would normally organize this sort of thing. Accept it. People care about you.

Kate P said...

Hello again, pink-tight-ed giraffe! I guess like you, Nina, she is putting one foot in front of the other. . . in front of the other.

I love hearing about people's dreams and analyzing them. Neverending coffee could be your brain's wondering where all the meds went. It'll adjust. :)

Tracy Lynn said...

I don't usually care to hear the dreams of others, but that giraffe? Makes it totally worth it.

sybil law said...

I love hearing about people's dreams! And that one was a real humdinger, Nina! *shudder*
Eventually, you'll get by without the drugs to sleep. I take Xanax from time to time - but I haven't in ages. (Of course I am not dealing with what you're dealing with, either.)
I wish like hell I could take some loss and helplessness and pain away for you.
All I know is this - things will get better, eventually.
(Oh and I plan to donate and also buy you a raffle ticket for Avitable's party. Because you need and deserve it. Period.)

Finn said...

You're doing great. You should be proud of yourself. xo