Wednesday, August 20, 2008


I swore I'd be a better blog friend to you yesterday. You know now that I did not succeed.

Let me tell you what I succeeded in doing yesterday:

a) sleeping
b) eating a pint of ice cream and an order of french fries
c)) talking to my uncle about how "super" we are - now worries here! Really!
d) smoking a cigarette
e) falling asleep in a pile of laundry on the floor - not to awaken for 9 hours

Not to alarm you, but I guess it's time to let the bravado go and face facts: this sucks. Am I am okay? Sure I am. What choice do I have? But if you someone gave me that game to play right now - the one where you can trade problems with someone else? The one where everyone (supposedly) owns up to really liking his or her problems more than anyone else's in the whole world?

Not me. I'd trade any of you. (Except maybe Adam, who will never believe me when I say that i have been working on it (really!) despite no evidence to the contrary.

See you all tomorrow.


catherine said...

What flavor of ice cream, because I started filing through all known brands/flavors wondering what you'd pick, and now I just gotta know.

(Hugs) as always.

Sizzle said...

Of course you are "ok" because "ok" doesn't mean squat. You lost your Dad. You are surviving. You are dealing with your grief. You're doing what you can to get through each day. It's not easy by a long shot.

Falling asleep on a pile of laundry? I hope it was clean and warm.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Sorry things are so sucky - I hope you're able to move on to some happy or at least semi-decent days soon.

Avitable said...

Of course I believe you. It's okay.

Daisy said...

Thinking of you.

Kate P said...

That's one of the adages from the "all I need to know I learned from my cat" book: When all else fails, take a nap.

I'm right there with you, falling asleep on the floor in the living room. School is draining.

sybil law said...

Whatever you need to do. But damn - ice cream sounds sooo good right now!

nightfly said...

With the exception of the cigarette, it just sounds like you traded places with Cathead for a day. It sounds rather therapeutic to me!

Finn said...

It's still early days, darlin'. As much as you can, just be sad. Don't fight it. Function when you have to, but don't try not to mourn. You have to so you can heal. xoxo

Annie said...

Ice cream and french fries sound like at best a way to handle pain as any other. You do what you have to do and quit judging yourself for it. Lot so love.

ricki said...

Aw, man.

While I wouldn't TRADE with you (because yeah, your problems would overwhelm me), if I could give you a life like mine - with decent employment and a home all to yourself and almost no drama - I'd do it in a heartbeat.

All I can say is you sound a lot more "ok" than I would if I were in similar circumstances.