I just cleared out my voice mail, accumulated over a week of mitten making and grading, and got the following message from a guy we'll call Grip.
Hi Nina, this is Grip Spitzer. I know it's really strange that I am calling you, but I just woke up and I just had the strangest really strong feeling that should call you. Um, well, there is more to it than that, but I think there is something that we really seriously missed out on, um and, so, I guess what I am asking, if you are still single would you please, please have a cup of coffee with me? Because, um, I think that I was really really really not ready, and not who I am now in terms of what I want out of life when I met you, and um, I should have grabbed onto you and held on to you with all my might when I had the chance. So, um, if you could, give me a call, ---,---,----. Hope you are doing well. Bye.
There is a much longer post in the offing, but I have to do grades for Sweet Little Collge this morning and I can't possibly write said post until later.
So instead, I thought I would ask for your... reaction... to this message.
Before reacting, consider that I dated Grip five years ago for about six weeks. Since then, he has called an average of twice a year, saying stuff similar to what you see above - except that the content of this message is far less grovel-y than his past efforts. My favorite message was the one from three and a half years ago. It included the phrase "stamped in eternity."
*snicker*
I will tell the story later, but for now I will say no more.
React.
Thank you.
11 comments:
Leave'em alone....if you want my opinion.
he's been changing now for what? 5 years? Riiiight.
I'm only here to help, Nina. :)
Sounds like a loser with a hard-on to me.
Wait a second...isn't it worth having coffee? The worst thing that could happen is that it stirs the pot a bit.
I don't want to be the person telling you that people don't change. I just don't believe that, because I've changed, Fauxhawk's changed, and it's all good. So I say go for a coffee. And if it sucks and he's full of shit, you can write a good post about it. Bonus for everyone.
I end up erring on the side of giving people the benefit of the doubt - and rarely, if ever, have they deserved it. I think given that he has done this multiple times, and you dated so many years ago for only 6 weeks - I would say stay away. It can't be good and I sense some issues on his part. It would be one thing if you had dated like a year ago or so and for many months and things happened and....I don't know. I think he has issues. But mostly - I just want to hear the rest of the story!
Based on what you've chosen to share, the only answer is to stay away.
Amusing fellow though I suspect he doesn't intend to be.
Haha. Cheesy.. If it worked out in the first place it won't take more than 5 yrs...
stamped in eternity ...but only calling once or twice a year? Ha! I'd almost have to go just to laugh. And if I didn't have anything else to do that day, you know like pulling out my fingernails or something.
This is kind of creepy. If he had really changed wouldn't he be telling you that he was no longer crushing on girls he knew for six weeks, five years ago? That he'd moved out on his own, gotten a job and a new hobby, made some friends? To me, "I've changed so let's repeat all of our old mistakes!" is a non-starter.
I am a total romantic. I still wish that I had a second chance with my ex from grad school.
When I read his note, I thought you should totally give him another chance. Then you said that he does the exact same thing about once a year, and I thought, creepy.
Then I thought, so he still keeps trying for that second chance, that's admirable! I agree with P, have coffee. No harm, possible good, at the very least something to write about.
Slick, yes, five entire years of changing, going on six now. HM.
Willowtree, you know, when first listened to his voice mail, I thought "is that strange, really strong feeling somewhere in your crotchtal region?" (Slick uses that word all the time so that means it's ok).
p, people do change. I might have coffee with him and I might not, but if I do, it won't be because I think there's much of a chance ol' Grip and I are meant to be.
las, he DOES have issues. But so do I, so we are even, there. I will tell the story just as soon as I get out from under all these papers.
Woodrow, you are probably right, but I still might meet him for coffee and I definitely shouldn't which means there is no probably about how right you are.
Utenzi, in real life, Grip has no sense of humor whatsoever, but he is unintentionally amusing sometimes.
HB, the stamped in eternity message was cheesier. I wish I had saved that one.
Country Roads, I might go meet him even with all my fingernails intact. Just because.
Nightfly, excellent point. "I have changed so much that I can't forget about you" can't be quite right.
Maggie, well that's odd, because I often think of my grad school boyfriend. Hm. And technically (very technically) this would be chance three for Grip. But it's technical.
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