Monday, January 7, 2008

Roy and Nina

I have vanquished all the bugs, it is true. And yet not so.

Last night as I was writing the final email of the day, a wee fruit fly fluttered across my computer screen in the most untoward manner. I was most seriously displeased - until I took a closer look. Around its neck, unmistakably, a name tag.

It was Roy.

"Roy," I said, "Perhaps you dodged the Raid can, but you might have taken the hint anyway. Have you nowhere else to go, Roy?"

Roy did the most charming pirouette and pivot before landing on my Blackberry.

"Nina," said Roy, "You have killed my entire family. I have no one left." He spread his wings wide and wiggled his antennae, gesturing to the empty apartment. "I am all alone in the world," he sobbed. He then curled up into a little ball and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

I must say... I was moved.

"Roy," said I. "Are you truly the last? Is there no one left?"

"Nina," said Roy, "I have searched everywhere. My swarm has flown to the sky that leads nowhere. I am the last."

I scrunched up my face and considered.

"You are the last?"

"The last," said Roy.

I started to cry a little bit.

"Would you like to live here with me? You may do so as long as you swear not to breed by artificial or any other means. You must also make friends with my cat."

Roy arose and did an interpretive dance of joy before floating back down the the Blackberry.

"OK," he said.

So, reader, I have made peace with one fly, Roy.

He is handy around the kitchen and can be counted on to fetch spices and salt and pepper upon request. He gets along with Cat-head, and he is a demon of an editor. Just this morning, he crossed a stray comma out of my NaNoWriMo novel.

So Roy and Nina? We cool.

But I really must get back to work.

Have a good Monday.


Avitable said...

This is why I use Terminix. To avoid having relationships with my fruit flies and (in Florida) cockroaches.

Effortlessly Average said...

I kept waiting for you to say something like "then I came to my senses and smashed him flat with my used copy of People Magazine. I think it improved the mag's resale value."

But no, you make friends with Roy. Well good for Roy! Although he looks more like a bee to me.

nicoleantoinette said...


LAS said...

I'm feeling so much better about all of this now! And less bad about stealing the paper. You after all killed a whole family - I only took one newspaper!

Mr. Fabulous said...

This like one of those Hallmark Hall of Fame specials...

The Horny Bitch said...

Haha.. Nice one.. Thank u btw!!! :)

utenzi said...

We're so different, Nina. As soon as Roy admitted he was the last one left, I'd have squashed him like a... I know it's cliche but... like a bug!

123V said...

That made me tear up a little bit. That's beautiful.

didi said...


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