Noing, v, (noy ng): To roll the ear of one stuffed rabbit (named Bobby) and tuck the ear between bottom lip and chin while pursing lips slightly. Eye closing is optional. For best results, alternate rabbit ears and make "noing" noise. No known synonyms, rhymes with "boing."
Note the chubby hand of the three year old pressing the ear of the Bobby into the "noing" position.*
Bobby entered our lives when Liam was about three weeks gestational age. Leta wanted a more interesting way of telling my brother she was pregnant, something more fun and creative than, say, flipping a damp pee-stick at him and saying "Look what you did." So she bought Bobby, and put a note around his neck. The note read: "This is for our baby."
Bobby, in his original condition:
Since Liam was born, his attachment to Bobby, whose original moniker was "Baba," has been so total we have feared that Bobby might end up encased in glass in Liam's college dorm room. His mom Leta bought a "spare" Bobby and poor Liam thought a hole had been ripped in the matrix. To make sure everyone was clear about how NOT BOBBY the spare was, he named the spare "Aligator Calculator Kite" and assigned him sleeping place on the OTHER SIDE OF THE BED. NOT THE BOBBY SIDE.
Bobby, the center of the universe, likes to go to the rodeo:
And Bobby likes to eat donuts:
And Bobby likes to ride in the bass boat:
For Christmas, I am knitting a hat for Liam. I call it the Noing-a-Bobby:
I am also making a downsized version of the hat for Bobby, with holes for his ears to come out. I feel pretty sure someday Liam will forgive me for being such a beastly aunt. Cool aunts give toy trucks and plastic tool belts and fire hats. Aunt Nina gives dorky unwearable hats. (Of course he doesn't have to wear it. I can't knit a tonka truck, however, so he'll have to get over it).
Finally, I am afraid I am going to have to unsay everything I said about never dating again. I have to. I need a target for this sweater:
Yes, that is a delightful mudflap girl** pattern. Obviously, it's a tank top pictured here but it could easily be adapted into a regular men's sweater and gosh I need someone to knit that for because it's hilarious.
*Liam coined the term "noing" and upon request, he will explain the procedure outlined above. He will also conjugate the verb in all applicable tenses (will have been noinging, should have been noinging, would have been noinging, will have been noinging, could have been noinging) and invite you to take a hit off the Bobby, in case you aren't convinced that noinging is the best thing EVER.
**Both patterns can be found in Stitch-n-Bitch Nation by Debbie Stoller. You can buy the book here.