Friday, November 16, 2007

Warning: Off Meds

Yesterday morning, after waking up at 3:30am and reluctantly calling it a night at 4:00am, I decided that I am no longer taking Don'tFuckUp. The side effects, none of which were listed in the huge warning pamphlet, were: insomnia, racing heart, being winded after walking one flight of steps, and a major sinus infection (ok that last bit might just be real life). The main effect was supposed to be "more stable moods". That happened, but in a minor, so not worth it way. So I am calling Headologist Bootstraps this morning to let her know I am no longer taking Don'tFuckUp, and she will propose some other "mood stabilizing" drug, to which I will say no thanks, and then I will ask for more xanax.

Yesterday was my dad's birthday. I called the house and left a message, but he never called me back. My brother called three times and never got a return phone call. We booked some very expensive flights to South Carolina for Christmas even though the odds of my dad being alive then are just about zero. I had to change my plans to go to Mexico for New Years because of the "suggestion" that we come for Christmas (which was more of a gesture than it was an invitation, since it's pretty clear that my dad's odds of being alive in six weeks are zero). So now I get to hemorrhage a whole bunch more money trying to change my flights to Mexico, which I can't really afford because my cell phone bill was $1000 last month because hello, I was spending 17 hours a day on the phone with hysterical relatives. Also, regardless of whether I get to see my dad at Christmas, I will miss half my vacation. Because of a visit that will likely NOT EVEN TAKE PLACE. Also, in the eleven weeks since my dad was brought home, I have seen him once. In the last two weeks, he has stopped calling me. I doubt I'll hear from him today, either.

Headologist Bootstraps, is it so very unreasonable for Nina, who has never had a drug problem or any other addiction of any kind (shut UP about the cupcakes), to have a good supply of anti-sobbing drugs in the house? Hmmmmmm?

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